Today is exactly two weeks from when we received our referral call, and were introduced by pictures and paperwork to our precious new daughter. Our little B. Baby. Somehow, it seems she has been part of our family much longer. Throughout this adoption process, we have prayed for this little one every day - but now, somehow it is different. I feel like my prayers mean more because I can now talk to God about her, using her name, and picturing her precious little face as I pray. (I know they don't really mean more to God, but it feels different). I thought I thought about her constantly during the past year - but I didn't know what thinking of her constantly meant, until I actually had her picture in front of me. I had longed to hold her - and now, I ache for her - to feel her warmth in my arms, to breath in her scent, to learn all the little baby details like whether she likes to be cradled or held upright and what position she sleeps in, to read books to her, to see her smile, to comfort her tears as she grieves her short life's many losses.
Right now, we are still waiting for a court date. We hope that we will have one assigned by the end of the week, and we're praying hard that it will by some miracle be in November. And we are praying that we pass court the first time, and our precious little one will officially take on our last name!! So many things to pray for! As we wait and pray, we have been doing more reading and research on the things we can do to ease her transition into our family, and to help her bond with us, and learn that we are her mommy and daddy. She will be coming from half a world away. Everything will sound different, smell different, and look different. Everyone and everything will seem strange and foreign to her. The bonds she has been forming since she reached Hannah's Hope will be broken, as were all the other bonds she's formed in her short life. We will be happy because our daughter will finally be home. She will be sad because she has no idea who we are, or why we just carted her off on an airplane. We will know that we are her forever family. She will not. And it is our job to teach her - to show her that we are not going anywhere, that we are her mommy and daddy. It will be our JOY to wipe her tears, to rock her when she cries for no apparent reason, to hold her - when her little heart is bursting with grief.
So far, here are our plans for welcoming her home, and helping her adjust to living with her new family.
1. We don't plan to have a welcoming committee at the airport. We feel that after a long flight with two near strangers, a low-key entry to the US will be more beneficial to her in the long run.
My (Sarah) parents will drop a car off for us at the airport, and we will make our own way home, where we will (hopefully!) be able to get some sleep before they bring Aba over to meet her new baby sister.
2. I will wear Baby B. in a sling/baby carrier constantly! (Did this with Abigail too!) This way, she will learn to know my scent, my voice, my heartbeat....the things bio babies are born knowing about their mamas from living inside them 9 months. She may not like to be worn in a sling at first (although she very well might like it - hope so!), but we will do it anyway. Over time, as she learns to trust us, she will grow used to it, and like it.
3. We will share our bed with her. If she doesn't like sleeping with us, we will start off with her in a crib/co-sleeper right next to the bed, and transition her into our bed over time.
4. We will meet her needs quickly. Many babies who have lived in orphanages or have been neglected learn that when they have a need, it is not met - so why bother crying? This basically teaches a child to think that they are not worth being taken care of. We want to nurture her, and show her what a valuable little person she is! (One thing that is wonderful in our situation, is that we know she is in an orphanage where she is being very well taken care of!)
5. Don and I will be the only ones to hold her for the first few months. This will help her learn that we are her primary caregivers, her Mommy and Daddy.
6. We will 'cocoon'. This means we will hang close to home for a while, and limit visitors - probably none the first 4 weeks, and then have people stop by in very small groups of 2-3 people at a time, so as not to overwhelm her. During this time, we will be forming a consistent routine and structure to our days - to give her the knowledge of what is coming next will help build her trust in us.
7. We will be flexible. :)
8. Hopefully, we will sleep some. Rested parents function so much better than tired ones!! ;)
Please pray for us and our little B. as we prepare our hearts and home to welcome her into our family, and as she, unbeknownst to her is preparing to leave her country of birth to fly far, far away to a family that adores her and cannot wait to meet her.
Sarah
03 November 2009
26 October 2009
Referral Day Details, and What Happens Next
We promised more details on the referral day of our new baby girl, so here they are!
On Monday, Oct. 19 I (Sarah) received a text message from the family on the wait list ahead of us, letting us know they got their referral of an absolutely gorgeous baby girl, which put us #1 on the wait list to receive the next baby girl referred to our agency. Needless to say, every time my phone rang I jumped, knowing that our call would be coming soon...and also hoping soon was very, very soon!!!! The rest of Monday passed with no phone call.
Tuesday morning I resolved to not think about 'the call' (ha,ha) and went about my daily tasks - somehow, I consistently ended up sitting on the couch staring at my phone. So, I took Abigail out for a walk. And picked tomatoes in the garden. And did a dozen other random tasks. At 3:40, I realized that it was just too late for our agency to call (they close at 4:30, and since the referral call takes a while, I figured there was just no way they would put it that close to closing), and decided to start making stew for dinner. I floured/seasoned the meat, heated up oil in my cast iron dutch oven, and started dropping chunks of raw meat into the sizzling oil. Then, at exactly 3:44 pm, my phone rang. I glanced at it, planning to let it go to voicemail and call the person back when I was done cooking - but the caller ID said AGCI (All God's Children International) and there was no way on earth I was going to let this phone call go to voicemail!!! I had the presence of mind to turn off the burner, and then with raw meat juice and flour all over my shaking hands, I grabbed my phone, and said 'hello', in what I hoped was a calm, friendly tone. :)
It was Christy - whose voice we had been so longing to hear!!! She told me she had a little girl she would like to talk to us about, and asked if Don was at home so he could hear the news at the same time. No, he wasn't home - but I knew he was only a few blocks away - could I call her right back??? (Don and I had been praying we would get to be together to hear about our new little one - if not, we could conference call in, but it is just not the same as being together). Fortunately, he really was only 3 minutes away (seemed like a lot longer) and when he finally arrived, I was jumping in and out the front door looking for him. Together, we called Christy back, and heard our daughter's name for the first time. Unfortunately, we can't post it here, along with other identifying information, but she has a beautiful name that starts with a B., and we can pronounce it!!! We plan to keep her Ethiopian name as her first name, and give her a second name that we, her new mommy and daddy will have chosen for her. (We are talking about Grace, but have not decided for sure yet.) Christy told us all they know about our little one, which is not very much, but every little detail is precious. In the middle of the call, Abigail, who had been eating a snack, came to ask for a diaper change - I held the phone (on speaker phone) while Don changed her, and I chuckled thinking about how we'll be able to tell B. when she gets older that her sister was getting her diaper changed while we were finding out about her. (Little sisters like this kind of information to tease their older siblings with).
Typically, we would have spoken with Christy on the phone, and then she would have emailed us pictures, but since we really wanted to get started on our referral acceptance paperwork right away, and the agency was about to close, we didn't wait to see pictures, jumped in the car, and drove as fast as one can in Portland rush hour traffic over to AGCI. Every single light, of course, was red, and all of the slowest drivers in town were in front of us. But we made it - only 8 minutes late, and Christy waited for us (thank you, Christy!!!!). It is an amazing thing to look at a picture of your daughter for the first time, to see her precious face, to yearn to hold her in your arms, and yet to know that she is so very far away, and to know it may be months before the dream of holding her becomes a reality.
I had heard from more than one adoptive parent that this time, the time when you have a picture, you have a name, you have a heart full of love for this child - yet you don't have the child, this is the hardest part of the adoption process. These months until we finally meet our little B. will seem longer than the past year that we have spent working towards this point. Yes, it is true. We think about her constantly - wonder what she is doing, if she is feeling okay (she just spent a couple days in the hospital with pneumonia), and how long it will be until we hold her in our arms.
So, what is next? This morning we turned in our referral acceptance paperwork and now we are waiting for a court date. At this court date, baby B. will, if all goes well, take on the Titus last name. She will be ours. Then, we wait for an Embassy date, for which Don and I will fly to Ethiopia, meet B., have our Embassy appointment to get B.'s visa and passport - and all other paperwork necessary for her to come home to the US, and then we'll fly home with her.
We'll talk more later about what comes after that, but for now, we're asking for lots of prayers that we will:
1. Get a soon court date, and
2. That we will pass court
We are so excited to welcome this precious little one into our lives!
On Monday, Oct. 19 I (Sarah) received a text message from the family on the wait list ahead of us, letting us know they got their referral of an absolutely gorgeous baby girl, which put us #1 on the wait list to receive the next baby girl referred to our agency. Needless to say, every time my phone rang I jumped, knowing that our call would be coming soon...and also hoping soon was very, very soon!!!! The rest of Monday passed with no phone call.
Tuesday morning I resolved to not think about 'the call' (ha,ha) and went about my daily tasks - somehow, I consistently ended up sitting on the couch staring at my phone. So, I took Abigail out for a walk. And picked tomatoes in the garden. And did a dozen other random tasks. At 3:40, I realized that it was just too late for our agency to call (they close at 4:30, and since the referral call takes a while, I figured there was just no way they would put it that close to closing), and decided to start making stew for dinner. I floured/seasoned the meat, heated up oil in my cast iron dutch oven, and started dropping chunks of raw meat into the sizzling oil. Then, at exactly 3:44 pm, my phone rang. I glanced at it, planning to let it go to voicemail and call the person back when I was done cooking - but the caller ID said AGCI (All God's Children International) and there was no way on earth I was going to let this phone call go to voicemail!!! I had the presence of mind to turn off the burner, and then with raw meat juice and flour all over my shaking hands, I grabbed my phone, and said 'hello', in what I hoped was a calm, friendly tone. :)
It was Christy - whose voice we had been so longing to hear!!! She told me she had a little girl she would like to talk to us about, and asked if Don was at home so he could hear the news at the same time. No, he wasn't home - but I knew he was only a few blocks away - could I call her right back??? (Don and I had been praying we would get to be together to hear about our new little one - if not, we could conference call in, but it is just not the same as being together). Fortunately, he really was only 3 minutes away (seemed like a lot longer) and when he finally arrived, I was jumping in and out the front door looking for him. Together, we called Christy back, and heard our daughter's name for the first time. Unfortunately, we can't post it here, along with other identifying information, but she has a beautiful name that starts with a B., and we can pronounce it!!! We plan to keep her Ethiopian name as her first name, and give her a second name that we, her new mommy and daddy will have chosen for her. (We are talking about Grace, but have not decided for sure yet.) Christy told us all they know about our little one, which is not very much, but every little detail is precious. In the middle of the call, Abigail, who had been eating a snack, came to ask for a diaper change - I held the phone (on speaker phone) while Don changed her, and I chuckled thinking about how we'll be able to tell B. when she gets older that her sister was getting her diaper changed while we were finding out about her. (Little sisters like this kind of information to tease their older siblings with).
Typically, we would have spoken with Christy on the phone, and then she would have emailed us pictures, but since we really wanted to get started on our referral acceptance paperwork right away, and the agency was about to close, we didn't wait to see pictures, jumped in the car, and drove as fast as one can in Portland rush hour traffic over to AGCI. Every single light, of course, was red, and all of the slowest drivers in town were in front of us. But we made it - only 8 minutes late, and Christy waited for us (thank you, Christy!!!!). It is an amazing thing to look at a picture of your daughter for the first time, to see her precious face, to yearn to hold her in your arms, and yet to know that she is so very far away, and to know it may be months before the dream of holding her becomes a reality.
I had heard from more than one adoptive parent that this time, the time when you have a picture, you have a name, you have a heart full of love for this child - yet you don't have the child, this is the hardest part of the adoption process. These months until we finally meet our little B. will seem longer than the past year that we have spent working towards this point. Yes, it is true. We think about her constantly - wonder what she is doing, if she is feeling okay (she just spent a couple days in the hospital with pneumonia), and how long it will be until we hold her in our arms.
So, what is next? This morning we turned in our referral acceptance paperwork and now we are waiting for a court date. At this court date, baby B. will, if all goes well, take on the Titus last name. She will be ours. Then, we wait for an Embassy date, for which Don and I will fly to Ethiopia, meet B., have our Embassy appointment to get B.'s visa and passport - and all other paperwork necessary for her to come home to the US, and then we'll fly home with her.
We'll talk more later about what comes after that, but for now, we're asking for lots of prayers that we will:
1. Get a soon court date, and
2. That we will pass court
We are so excited to welcome this precious little one into our lives!
20 October 2009
Referral Day!
Today we received our referral for a beautiful baby girl!!! We're so excited!!!! Can't stop smiling!
We can't post many details about her online (since she's not yet legally ours), but we will post what we can a little later.
We can't post many details about her online (since she's not yet legally ours), but we will post what we can a little later.
12 October 2009
07 October 2009
Baby Sister Come Home
On Monday, we will celebrate Abigail's 2nd birthday. I simply cannot believe it. Two years old! Yesterday I asked her what she wanted for her birthday - she looked at me with her big, sweet eyes and said "Baby Sister, Ethiopia, come home".
Me too, Baby, me too.
Me too, Baby, me too.
06 October 2009
October Numbers Are In!
It's official! We're in the single digits!
I'm the big sister!
The look I got from my little goof when I asked her to smile and look happy!
(This is her 'fake sad' look.)
(This is her 'fake sad' look.)
19 September 2009
Garage Sales and Diaper Collecting
Well, it's 10pm, and I'm really, really tired. We spent a long day at the church having our garage sale, cleaned up, picked tomatoes in the garden, and got Abigail down to bed - early! She woke up just a few minutes ago, and it seems she feels as if she just had an extra-late afternoon nap. It was a big day for all of us! It rained most of the day, which always cuts down on traffic. Fortunately the sale was indoors, so we didn't get wet! We're extremely grateful for the money we earned, and for every one who came to the sale. Thank you!
Sometimes, despite all our hard work, and trying to trust the Lord (much easier said than done), it seems the days until we get our referral are dragging on, and that there are so many obstacles in our path. But during those times, we try to keep our eyes on the Lord, and on the goal ahead of us: bringing our new baby home! On that day, it will all be more than worth it. Baby girl, Mommy can't wait to know your name and see your precious face for the first time.
On a different note, at the end of our cloth diaper drive for Layla House and AHOPE orphanages, we were able to send over thirteen dozen diapers, more than thirty covers, and a 22-pound box of clothes. Many thanks to all who contributed!
Sarah (and Don)
Sometimes, despite all our hard work, and trying to trust the Lord (much easier said than done), it seems the days until we get our referral are dragging on, and that there are so many obstacles in our path. But during those times, we try to keep our eyes on the Lord, and on the goal ahead of us: bringing our new baby home! On that day, it will all be more than worth it. Baby girl, Mommy can't wait to know your name and see your precious face for the first time.
On a different note, at the end of our cloth diaper drive for Layla House and AHOPE orphanages, we were able to send over thirteen dozen diapers, more than thirty covers, and a 22-pound box of clothes. Many thanks to all who contributed!
Sarah (and Don)
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